is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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