you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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