so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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