What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
