We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I understand Curling. That high.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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