At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
