is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
