and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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