Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
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He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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