***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
