ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Come on in and take your pants off
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