She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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