I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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