Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
