No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
