Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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