I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Actions speak louder than pants.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
