my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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