The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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