i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
