Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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