The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
