She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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