That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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