sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
