i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
