I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
