He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
