I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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