Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
