were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
