Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
