We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Enjoy the penises
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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