So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
