I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
