She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
