I have demons in me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
