Tell her she can't have a vagina
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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