I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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