i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
