my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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