Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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