we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Randomize
