these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
