If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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