I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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