margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
