Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
