oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize