elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
