Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
do nipples grow back?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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