why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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