its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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