All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
