SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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