You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
