the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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