therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
