He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
