honey bunches of taint.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
