And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
