I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
