how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
