i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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