Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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