how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she pinky promised me she was 18
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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