No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
