Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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